apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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