her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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