i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
