I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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