i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
