Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
