Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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