just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
