Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Who died my cat blue again?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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