Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
