ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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