Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Enjoy the penises
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize