Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
