butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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