Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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