so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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