The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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