And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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