I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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