thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
