you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
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I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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