So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
