I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
