love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
