good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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