her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
