we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
