My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.