I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
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Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind