Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
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so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?