he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
