my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
