This dress was meant to end up on your floor
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
