That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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