i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize