i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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