look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
ttyl tear gas
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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