i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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