I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I checked into jail on foursquare
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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