im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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