I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize