apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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