I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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