I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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