If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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