i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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