i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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