"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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