i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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