Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
