Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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