She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
