I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
