i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize