You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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