oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
