one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
