my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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