forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
