She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
