i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
