toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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